Knuckle Head/Bird Brain - Take your Pick

Office Story of the Day:

So the most annoying woman works in the accounting office at work. In my bosses words, “Knuckle Head” and “Bat Brain” accurately describe her in a nice way….Well she annoys the shit out of me, because she can’t figure life out basically, and her job, so I always end up having to do it for her, even though she is not even in my department. Last week, she flies into my office like a “bat out of hell” and is like, “You can’t lock your office tonight I need the pencil sharpener!” I have this look, that I just cant control, where if I am annoyed or think you are saying something stupid you will see it on my face and I basically pause and wait till the other person realizes what they just said sounded so stupid that they don’t even deserve a response. So I am giving “Worm Brain” this look, and finally of course the look goes over her head, and I say “I am not leaving our offices unlocked so you can use a pencil sharpener. How about you take the pencil sharpener out of the office and put it in your office for the night?” She looks at me as if I spoke jibberish…So I take the pencil sharpener, unplug it and bring it to her office, putting it on the table next to her desk and tell her it is there if she needs it.
So one week later, again flying like she is actually doing something besides wandering around lost in the office (which is the more likely story), “where is the pencil sharpener?!” I calmly tell her, “Rememeber I put it in your office. I assume it is still there…”
She storms out as if she was upset I didn’t magically produce a sharpener out of my ass and plug it into my head and sharpen her pencil with my ear.
She comes back and I ask her, “Did you find it?” Her reply, “It wasn’t plugged in…" then more gibberish that I don’t understand…some grumbling…" But I guess I can plug it in myself. Ugh!”

Yes, Batty! Plug in that god damn Sharpener yourself, if you can’t even figure that out then you are in the wrong profession. I don’t even want to go into the Stamp Machine Incident, where I thought she was going to start crying when I insisted she put it in her office since I was sick of being commanded to refill it for her since it was next to my desk and I don’t use the damn stamp machine…needless to say…I refill it…but I always wait till it runs out and wait for her to ask me to do it, and then she cant mail the stuff she wants to because I tell her I am busy and will have to do it later… HA, so there…
I really am a spiteful bitch! I promise :)