Dear "Love Doctors":

I am fed up. I have had it with your opinions and judgements on what is good and what is not good for my relationship with Ten. I know we have maybe done things differently than most couples, but hey, when it comes down to it, I am still with my boyfriend and more in love than ever, you guys on the hand....umm...not so much. (Sticking my tongue out at you)

Now please listen:

When Ten and I first moved to DC from California we lived at my parents house.

It’s not like your average household. My mom has been renting out the rooms in our house since she and my dad became empty nesters. Not just to anyone, but usually between the ages of 23-26, anyone my mom could take to happy hour, make dinners for, go to philly with, and basically substitute my sister and I for. Our house is actually known as the Hotel “Insert my Last Name” by many people in the DC area that have at one point or another stayed at my house. Apparently there is even a facebook group out there, that I have yet to join.

So back to the main story, Just because Ten and I lived together for 6 months when we first moved here does not, in any shape or form mean, that we MUST live together for the rest of our lives, because as one person so nicely put it when told we would be moving into seperate apartments, “Isn't your relationship moving backwards?”

Ten and I decided, to the chagrin of you “love doctors” not to “live” together (we do live in the same building and that adds a whole other element I will get to). It was surprising the comments I received from people, as if I should be worried about my relationship with Ten. Not everyone is dying to get married at 23, not that I don’t want a shiny ring to look at everyday, and not that I don’t want to marry Ten, but we are 23, do we have to commit ourselves forever? Can’t we just enjoy the way things are? And when things maybe start to get boring, or when we are ready for the next step then can we get married? It's not like we can even afford a house and definitly kids are not on the way anytime soon.
I am sick to death of people thinking I am weird for being ok with the fact that Ten does not want to get married till he is 26. What is so wrong with living in the same building and not actually living together? Why did my relationship decidedly move backwards when we didn’t move in together after we lived together (IN MY PARENTS HOUSE, may I remind you)?

The question I am posing to you all is, at 23 is there really such a rush to nail down that ring and notarized paper that says, what little money Ten and I have must be shared? Would it be so wrong if we took jobs in different cities because it just might be better for the individual or am I required to constantly think about my boyfriend or be scrutinized by others as my relationship might be failing?

To all you worried folks out there about my relationship with Ten…Please do not worry. Ten and I could not be more perfect if Romeo and Juliet actually lived at the end. Ten and I are more in love than we have ever been before, more in sync, and just infatuated with each other. We discuss marriage, we both want to, but we want to do it on our terms. Please stop making me feel like I must push for that ring. I don’t need that ring, I just need Ten right now.
Ten and I might have to make a hard decision which may involve long distance. My friend Freckles said to that, “why would you do long distance, why don't you move with him. Don’t you want to be with him?”

My answer to her and all other inquiring voices is, sometimes it is not always about him, sometimes it’s about me and at 23 that is ok!

Thank you for listening to my rant. I hope we all learned something. Please don’t judge a relationship that you are not in. I know I do that too (and frequently) but Ten and I are ok. We are better for not living together (he has not killed me for the mess that I call my room) and I don’t kill him for staying up all night reading (and by all night I mean past 10:30).

Love,
BF

p.s.: This note is for myself but I hope it also helps others. London, my bf from Miami, has been with her boyfriend for 3 years. They have lived together for 1.5 years and she has just gotten her own place! My newest roommate was living with her boyfriend and has just moved out. These moves have saved relationships! Sometimes a relationship may not be ready for that next step. Sometimes things need to cool if you dont want it to end and moving out is not the end of the world.

I say, Thank you, London and Newbie Roomie for showing the world that moving out is not THE END of a relationship. Sometimes it can be the pause that is neccessary for a relationship to continue to move forward.

Officially :

THE END